BollyWood remakes - blah

Firstly, I would like to apologize to all those people who may not be from the Indian Subcontinent and regular readers of this blog, since this is a topic very much related to the film industry we love to hate most BollyWood.

Very interestingly the Indian film industry has gotten itself into a rut. I say interestingly because I was always amazed by the fact that one story line could be recycled over and over for generations to come until they actually got sick of doing the same story over and over to make the successful similar stories again.

Thereby, the Indian film industry decided to do a remake of Don. Don was a character made famous by the man we all know as "Big B." The original was a very well made movie perhaps a copy of some American movie I've never seen, but nicely done with memorable music and gorgeous women. But, someone decided to re-do this movie, and decided to do it differently, made another man we call "SRK" or Shah Rukh Khan do this movie. Well directed, modern looking, and post-Neo Don was definitely cool-looking, gritty and slightly annoying. I can't imagine SRK being named Don, I can accept him as a Raj or a Rahul, since I strongly believe in type-casted Indian actors. In the end, the movie was alright. (Please bear in mind that my BollyWood reviews are never accurate; movies i call alright, so-so or even utterly despicable have the tendency to become super hits in my country)

Sholay. An Indian cinema classic, a cowboy's and Indian's story (the red-Indian kind), a story that till date surprises me that Salman Khan's daddy actually wrote this. Ram Gopal Verma, a good director in my books is expected to direct this and should be quite interesting to see what his version is to offer us.

My thoughts on remakes

I believe if movies have to be remade, we should exploit the things Bollywood is doing better these days, we make better cheesy movies, we make better soppy movies and we have models and ex-miss India's to act for us.

These are things we should exploit. If I had to make a remake, I'd make a spoof of some horribly serious movie. I wouldn't make a remake of something like Janasheen, which was pretty ludicrously stupid to begin with, I'd make a remake of something serious like Damini, or Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.

My Damini remake - My Damini remake would cast a gorgeous woman in the shoes of Meenakshi Sheshadri, like a Bipasha Basu or a Tanushree Dutta; a well built upper body and a leading man like Paresh Rawal, who would be the lawyer. In this movie the story would stay the same, but instead of the 3 hour running length of the original this movie will run for 6 hours. This would mainly be due to the fact we will have gorgeous women wearing today's skimpy clothing and perhaps to add a twist her professional talents include dance bar talent. So therefore the case will be prolonged due to the fact the judge likes seeing this woman in court everyday or in some sick perverted way this 60 year old judge fancies a chance with her, and in the end I would have the judge killed by this woman in court; to end the case and her being sentenced by a gay judge who will run the case with his lover attorney.

My Kuch Kuch Hota Hai remake - I remember watching an interview with Shah Rukh Khan, and he claims before every movie release that this movie is different, like I was watching a fucking Maggie commercial. (Firstly, I believe SRK should be sued for using that line so often from the evil Maggie Ketchup people, or should just hand him a bottle while he does such stupid interviews.) Any typical SRK movie shows him with either two women or another guy and a woman. The story is very simple, everyone loves SRK the guy, the women... everyone!!! But SRK always gets the girl and walks away like a happy man. I believe if this guy really wants to do something different, we will have SRK with two women with both the women showing him affection and eventually the women finding out that they love each other and not the Nepali looking dude and claim their lesbo love for each other. SRK can't handle the fact that this actually happened with him commits suicide and the movie ends with a happy lesbo love song and that my friends in my books will be fucking DIFFERENT!!!

Bollywood and their icky remakes.... BLAH!!!!